When Leaders Aren’t Born with a Polished Spoon- How Resilience, Grit, and Growth Shape the True Path to Leadership and Enhance Our Journey

When I went through this adage, it was surprisingly an extremely prominent one which blew my mind away. It goes- “The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born and that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That is futile, in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.”

This powerful statement challenges one of the most pervasive misconceptions about leadership, the idea that it is an innate trait, something people either have or don’t have it in them. In reality, leadership is a skill that can be developed, honed, and refined over time. This understanding has profound implications for personal growth, mental fortitude, and mental stability. I think we can all start in small ways to understand what leadership actually entails.

The Myth of the “Born Leader”, But is it Actually a Myth or Just a Statement Being Perpetuated

The idea that leaders are born, not made, suggests that leadership qualities are fixed and unchangeable. According to this myth, certain individuals are simply destined to lead because they possess inherent traits such as charisma, confidence, and decisiveness. This perspective implies that those who do not naturally exhibit these traits are incapable of becoming effective leaders. But the assumptions are totally wrong to begin with.

However, this myth is not only incorrect but also damaging. It discourages many individuals from pursuing leadership roles if they don’t see themselves as naturally gifted in leadership qualities. It also undermines the effort and perseverance required to develop leadership skills, leading to a fatalistic attitude where people believe their potential is limited by their genetic makeup.

The Reality, which creates the Adage that Leaders Are Made, Not Born

Contrary to the myth, leadership is not a fixed trait but a set of skills that can be cultivated through experience, education, and practice. Research in psychology and organizational behavior supports the idea that effective leadership is largely learned, shaped by one’s environment, experiences, and intentional efforts to grow. We learn things as we grow in life and that has nothing to do with something that we have been born with.

  1. Skill Development-
    • Leadership involves a range of skills, including communication, decision-making, empathy, problem-solving, being an empath because interaction with people is so necessary and the ability to inspire and motivate others. These are not qualities that people are born with or, at least, I am not aware of completely, rather, I always knew that they are developed through experience, training, and continuous learning.
    • For instance, communication skills can be improved through practice, feedback, and a commitment to understanding other’s perspectives. Decision-making abilities can be enhanced by learning from past experiences and by studying successful leaders. Or, by studying one’s environment bit by bit.
  2. Adaptability and Growth-
    • Effective leaders are those who are adaptable, who learn from their experiences, and who are open to feedback and change. This adaptability is a product of growth, not genetics.
    • Leaders often emerge from challenging situations that force them to develop new skills and perspectives. Overcoming obstacles, facing failures, and persevering through difficulties all contribute to the making of a leader. A leader changes the direction of the course completely, with their perseverance and dedication.
  3. Learning and Mentorship-
    • Leadership can be cultivated through education, mentorship, and exposure to different leadership styles. Mentorship, in particular, plays a crucial role in developing leadership qualities. Experienced leaders can guide others, providing insights and advice that help shape future leaders. They are the cornerstone of providing invaluable resources and mentorship.
    • Leadership programs, workshops, and real-world experiences provide opportunities for individuals to practice and refine their leadership abilities.

The Significance of This Understanding in Everyday Life

Understanding that leaders are made, not born, has significant implications for everyday life, particularly in how we approach challenges, develop mental fortitude, and maintain mental stability.

  1. Empowerment and Personal Growth-
    • This perspective empowers individuals to take control of their personal development. If leadership is a skill that can be learned, then anyone with the desire and commitment can become a leader. They become more resilient and that created much better chances of them having better attributes in life.
    • This mindset encourages continuous learning and self-improvement. Rather than being limited by the belief that leadership qualities are fixed, individuals are motivated to seek out opportunities for growth and development.
  2. Mental Fortitude-
    • The journey to becoming a leader requires mental fortitude which is the ability to persevere through challenges, to keep going when the path is difficult, and to stay focused on long-term goals.
    • Understanding that leadership is cultivated through experience reinforces the importance of resilience and determination. Every setback becomes a learning opportunity, and every challenge is a chance to build strength and character. Every setback would eventually become the learning graph towards a better prospect.
  3. Mental Stability-
    • Believing in the possibility of growth and change contributes to mental stability. It reduces the pressure to conform to an idealized version of a “natural leader” and instead allows individuals to develop their own unique leadership style. Which is what is absolutely necessary. Why not try to develop into a better character which resembles a much better leadership role.
    • This approach also fosters a growth mindset, which is associated with greater psychological well-being. When individuals believe that they can improve and develop over time, they are more likely to maintain a positive outlook, even in the face of challenges. Remaining optimistic is something that we should crave for.

Consequences of Believing the Myth

Believing in the myth that leaders are born, not made, can have several negative consequences, both for individuals and organizations.

  1. Limiting Potential-
    • If people believe that leadership qualities are innate, they may not pursue leadership roles, even if they have the potential to be great leaders. This belief limits personal and professional growth, as individuals may not take advantage of opportunities to develop their leadership skills. How pessimistic that approach would be, if there is a certain role which is assigned to us at birth only. I mean, how is it even possible.
    • Organizations that subscribe to this myth may overlook potential leaders within their ranks, focusing only on those who fit a narrow definition of a “natural leader.” This can lead to missed opportunities for cultivating a diverse and effective leadership team.
  2. Discouraging Development-
    • The belief that leadership is genetic can discourage individuals from engaging in self-improvement and continuous learning. If leadership is seen as something you either have or don’t have, there is little incentive to work on developing these skills.
    • This mindset can also lead to complacency among those who are perceived as “born leaders.” They may not feel the need to develop their skills further, which can result in stagnation and a lack of growth. There are no such things as being able to perceive being a born leader. Everything is being accumulated over the years.
  3. Perpetuating Inequality-
    • The myth of the born leader can reinforce existing social inequalities by perpetuating the idea that only certain people are fit to lead. This belief can marginalize individuals from diverse backgrounds who may not fit the traditional mold of a leader.
    • By failing to recognize the potential for leadership in all individuals, organizations may miss out on the contributions of talented people who could bring new perspectives and innovations to the table.
  4. Creating Unnecessary Pressure-
    • For those who are perceived as “natural leaders,” this myth can create significant pressure to constantly perform and live up to unrealistic expectations. It can lead to a fear of failure and an unwillingness to show vulnerability, which can be detrimental to both personal well-being and effective leadership. I mean, isn’t it bothersome that certain image would play havoc with our minds, stopping us from achieving our true potential.
    • This pressure can also hinder authentic leadership, as individuals may feel compelled to conform to an idealized image of a leader rather than developing their own authentic style.

Building Leadership- A Practical Approach

Given the understanding that leaders are made, not born, what practical steps can individuals, like us can take to cultivate our leadership abilities?

  1. Seek Out Challenges-
    • Leadership is often forged in the crucible of challenges. Seeking out opportunities that push you out of your comfort zone, whether in your personal or professional life. These experiences will help you develop the skills and resilience necessary for effective leadership. Definitely, just being out of our comfort zone would help immensely.
  2. Invest in Learning-
    • Taking advantage of educational resources, such as leadership courses, workshops, and books. Learning about different leadership styles, theories, and practices will give you a broader understanding of what effective leadership looks like and how you can develop it.
  3. Finding a Mentor-
    • A mentor can provide invaluable guidance and support as you develop your leadership skills. Looking out for someone whose leadership style you admire and who is willing to share their experiences and insights with you.
  4. Practicing Self-Reflection-
    • Regularly reflect on your experiences, challenges, and successes. Self-reflection helps you identify areas for improvement, recognize your strengths, and understand how your actions impact others. This practice is key to continuous growth and development as a leader. Regularly practicing self-reflection is the key here. This would also constitute writing journals.
  5. Cultivating a Growth Mindset-
    • Embrace the belief that your abilities can be developed through effort and learning. Just try to put those extra efforts every time, whenever you are feeling a little discouraged by something or the other. A growth mindset encourages you to view challenges as opportunities for growth and to persist in the face of setbacks.

What can we say- Leadership as a Journey of Growth

The idea that leaders are made, not born, fundamentally shifts how we think about leadership. It empowers individuals, like many of us to take control of our development, to seek out opportunities for our growth, and to believe in our potential to lead. Why not? This perspective also reinforces the importance of our mental fortitude and our mental stability, as it simultaneously encourages quite a resilient, adaptable, and growth-oriented approach to leadership.

We need to reject the myth of the born leader and open the door to a more inclusive and dynamic understanding of leadership, and that would constitute as one that recognizes the potential for leadership in everyone and values the journey of growth over the illusion of perfection. By embracing the idea that leaders are made through their hard work and through learnings, we create a culture where leadership is accessible, where potential is nurtured, and where individuals are encouraged to develop into the best leaders they can be.